Jacked pic courtesy of Honeymag.com
TOP 20 SLEPT ON REASONS WHY NICKI MINAJ IS A MAJOR GEEK GODDESS
By St. Paco
In spite of all of her richly deserved props (haters, baccdafuccup), Nicki Minaj has never received the credit that she's due for being a super sexy geek goddess on the DL. Thus, this stan astute listener is pullin' Ms. Nicki's Yu-Gi-Oh card to give all you 'Sheldons' twenty spine-tingling reasons why she is the slept on pinup queen of comic book hoarders, action figure fanatics, street-smart geeks and 'toon loving anime freaks.
Top 20 reasons why Nicki Minaj is a pinup goddess of the 21st century nerd herds:
1. Back in the day (meaning, three years ago) Nicki rocked a knock-off Wonder Woman costume in a photo used on the covers of her pre-major label mix-tapes, Harajuku Barbie and Beam Me Up Scotty.
2. The fact that she's 'brick' enough to fill out a Wonder Woman costume.
3. The fact that she even had a mix-tape with the title Beam Me Up Scotty.
4. The fact that she has made countless references to the über fly Harajuku fashion district of Tokyo.
5. Nicki has proven that she has a mutant-like ability to speak in a rather (pronounced "rah-thur") convincing British accent, similar to hardcore Harry Potter cosplayers.
6. Nicki used the Barbie logo as the template for an eye-popping pink and white iced nameplate.
7. Nicki has rapped that she's a ninja, and that "Lil' Wayne is my sensei."
8. Nicki screamed like Godzilla at the end of that fire-spittin' verse on Kanye's "Monster."
9. Nicki's lyrics reveal a strong fixation with caped crusaders like Superman and his luscious lovely cousin Supergirl.
10. Lyrical exhibit A: "That's why I put that 'S' on my chest, and I'm gone."
11. Lyrical exhibit B: "I'm a comic book heroine."
13. Lyrical exhibit C: "Superhero by night, r-r-rapper by day."
14. Lyrical exhibit D: "'S' on my chest, 'cause I'm ready to save him."
15. Lyrical exhibit E: "Put on my cape and hit the sky: Heroine."
15. Nicki bragged that she's flyer than Darkwing Duck on Keri Hilson's "Get Your Money Up" remix.
16. Nicki boasted that her money's so tall that "my Barbie's gotta climb it" on Kanye's "Monster."
17. She stuttered like Porky Pig and said "that's all, folks" on Lil' Wayne's "Sweet Dreams" remix.
18. Did I mention that Wonder Woman costume?
19. Mattel Toys produced a one-of-a-kind Nicki Minaj Barbie, which places her on the topmost shelf of an illustrious glass case filled with action figures modeled after legendary hip-hop idols like Run-DMC, Public Enemy, Biz Markie, MF Doom, Ghostface Killah, Notorious B.I.G., and, um…MC Hammer.
20. Nicki has more bifocal-fogging curves than Olivia Munn, Kristen Kreuk and Penny from Big Bang Theory combined.
[Cue Letterman audience applause]